After an extremely tough winter, the recent warmer weather has the effect like that of a blaring alarm clock and people en masse have awoken from their caves of home hibernation. The hibernating effects are still apparent: blank stares while reading the nutrition label of water bottles at the supermarket, feeling sleepy eighteen hours a day, and unattended facial and body hair. As we are now in the official season change, spring fever is setting in big time. Most of us know what to look for: the abandoning of heavy coats for lighter clothing and a general loss of common sense.
Lately slow drivers have been out in numbers more than usual. This annoys me more than my early onset of seasonal allergies. I’m not sure why spring fever would make one’s leg weaker so that pushing on the gas pedal requires extra effort. More than a few times I have been stuck behind a person driving ten whole miles under the speed limit. Where I live in the great state of
The roads I usually travel on have a speed limit of twenty five mph. Going slower than this is less than amusing to me and to keep myself calm I talk to myself and double check my speedometer while wondering if it is still considered driving if my foot is off the gas pedal. I reason that excessive wind from the driver’s open windows causes the sensation that they are traveling much faster than they actually are. I have also had to ask myself, “Can one be overly cautious by stopping at every intersection even if one does not have a stop sign?” This combined with the super slow almost idling pace warms me to the idea of everyone having to take a behind the wheel driver’s test every decade. Whoever came up with the saying “patience is a virtue” never got stuck behind these kind of drivers.
In addition to the lack of speed, spring fever seems to confuse drivers as to which way is right and left. Most times, I am appreciative when others use their directional signals when I’m behind them. It is disturbing, though, when the right turn signal is on but the car is in the left turn only lane. Was it a good excuse that the person could barely see over the dashboard? Furthermore, I am confounded when someone leaves their signal on as they continue to drive without making any turns. Doesn’t the metronomic sound get annoying to these drivers? Maybe car manufacturers should consider changing the clicking sound to an obnoxious buzzing noise when the signal is turned on. I will gladly volunteer in aiding the effort by allowing them to record my annoying sounds.
The loss of common sense or, to use a more agreeable term, forgetfulness is a symptom of spring fever I myself have fallen victim to. There is a lot going on this time of year such as losing an hour during Daylight Savings Time. They seriously need to change the name of that because there is no savings when an hour is lost and as any busy parent will tell you, we need to lose one precious hour like we need a lost cell phone. To make matters worse, outings and sports activities are beginning. Fortunately these days, smart phones can easily handle recording schedules and virtual reminders so forgetfulness can be minimized…unless one forgets their phone or still has an old fashioned phone like I have that just calls and texts.
People actually wear looks of “forgetfulness” via the blank stare. This condition carries over from watching too much TV during hibernation and continues into the overwhelming need to begin several outdoor projects. Just this past week when temperatures climbed from the mid 60’s into the mid 70’s, I wore this very look on my face as I was flooded with ideas of all the projects I want to accomplish. While my brain was calculating probabilities as to which project was the most critical and what made sense as there is still chance of frost, I stood in my front doorway gazing out onto the street. As a neighbor passed by and waved, I remained frozen with eyes fixed as if the macadam had more important information to offer but in reality my brain was in double-time. Then as they reached my peripheral vision, I awoke from my calculating trance and went to say a belated hello but was abruptly stopped after body slamming the perfectly clean and nearly invisible glass storm door.
